Moopers’s Weblog

We decided to go for it because:

- there was more “play” in our probability numbers because they didn’t include the blood test

- our chances of some genetic issue is 2x with twins

- amnio is an everyday procedure.  The risks are low, and lower still with experienced practitioners

- for the peace of mind for the rest of the pregnancy

It’s been a historic period for the financial markets.  Subprime mortgages, resold, blended with higher quality debt and labeled as lower risk, and sliced into securities and purchased by everyone.

Defaults on those crappy loans are coming home to roost.  Major financial institutions like Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch going down.  Freddie Mac and Fannie May getting government bailouts, along with AIG.

All of this on the trail of expensive wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and record national debt and trade deficits.

It’s going to be an ugly mess for the next president to sort out.

We finally decided today to go for amnio.

While the risks of defects is low, the numbers have a lot of “play” in them since they do not include the blood test. Plus, we have two rolls of the dice, so the chances of something bad happening is double.

The doctors at Kaiser are not at all stressed about doing amnios; it’s an everyday thing.  The risks of that are also low, about the middle of the oft-quoted 1:300 and 1:500 range.  They even aren’t sure that their rate isn’t just “background”, or whether there’s a statistically significant increase in risk.

The benefits for us are: much greater certainty, peace of mind through the pregnancy, and bonus peace of mind for years after, as they grow and develop with the knowledge that they will very unlikely have any health issues.

The amnio is in one week, and it will take two weeks to get the definitive results back.

Amnio, here we go!

Leslie’s bigger, most friends and family have been told.  Things are real-er than ever, so it’s time to get into gear!

We had our first family meeting with all four of us present, and laid out the to-do’s for the next while.

Went in for another quick ultrasound today, at 14.5 weeks.

Baby A is clearly a boy and as rambunctious as ever.  He’s always been very active.

Baby B seems like she might be a girl but we’ll know for sure later.  She hasn’t been as active, but we caught her doing some strong kicks.

So now it’s safe to start telling people.

Next up: deciding on whether to do amnio.  Our risks are “very good” according to Dr. R, and the risks of something going wrong with amnio are low.

I bring this up only because, in an election year with a female Republican VP candidate with five children including one special needs infant and one pregnant teenager, charges of sexism are blowing around like autumn leaves.  Should she maybe consider the idea that her family needs h… SEXISM!!  Maybe 21 months as governor of a tiny population doesn’t qualify her to be VP of the whol..SEXISM!!

Here’s the deal: our society clearly expects women to be the primary caregiver.  I know this first hand because of the books before me that are addressed to moms.  The moms’ groups online have “moms” in the title; rarely “parents”.  (I guess I am not qualified to join?)

Should I be feeling discrimated against?

Big ultrasound today, using the big fancy machine this time with the big flat screen; not the twerpy push-along ultrasound cart.

Separate sacs for each baby.  NT lines very thin.  Nice clear brains.  Lots of squirmy activity, flipping around, waving.  Heartbeat within normal operating parameters (A:149.  B:167).  All arms and legs accounted for.  5 little dots on each hand are the finger tips.  Nice straight line between forehead and chin.  Baby A is a big one, already at ~14w2d size.  Baby B is at ~13w3d size, smack on for the gestational age.  Tibs and fibs visible.  Jawbone visible as white.  Spinal cord visible on each indicate that they are indeed vertibrates.  Umbilical cord attached correctly.  Plenty of placenta for each baby, and plenty placenta of each side of the cord, meaning lots of nourishment to go around.  Spinal cord showing blood flow.  Bladders are full, indicating that the baby is ingesting, which means that esophagus is working.  L has a nice long cervical length, which is correlated with longer gestation.

They are perfect!  That is one less thing to worry about. 

J&K’s beautiful kids, N and Ki fought a bit at the pool.

Later that evening I turned to N and said, “You’re very lucky to have a brother.”  She asked, “Why?”  I explained that there are a lot of kids who aren’t so lucky and they don’t have someone to play with and look out for each other.  Both kids thought this was an interesting point and they cited a friend who had no siblings.

Then I asked N, “What do you like about your brother?”   She said something like, “He shares and he’s fun” and a couple of other things.

I asked Ki the same question.  He said (approximately): “she’s funny and she loves me and she helps me.”  Totally cute.  He is a sensitive and really warm boy.

Then N went up to Ki and they hugged.  So sweet!

Ki then asked me, “What do you like about L?”  I gave my long list.  Then he asked L what she liked about me and she gave her list.  Then they asked their parents, J&K who both had nice answers.

“What do you like about your brother/sister?”  What a great question it is to have them remember how lucky they are to have siblings.

It was a huge day of hanging around with our old/new community: old friends who are parents.

Big reunion of 3 of L’s high school friends x 2 offspring / high school friend = 6 offspring of high school friends.

One of them, N of A+N says, 15 minutes after we sit down, looking at L: “SO, anyone have any BIG NEWS to report??”  Lots of fun all around.  All of these are young, but “knowing” parents, all veterans now with their second kids.  So their response was happy, joyous, welcoming, but more muted.

Then we went to J&K’s house with their two kids. L and I are having fun coming up with different ways to tell people.  It was funny waiting to see how they’d broach the question so we decided to wait for a while and see if J&K would say anything.  I call it the “The Elephant in the Room” approach.

J was making funny faces from about minute 2 we were in the house.  All of us, including their two kids went to the pool.  Finally, sitting at a table by the pool, L said, “Boy I really am going to have to lose this extra weight!”

They were relieved that we finally brought it up; they felt really awkward.  Both had noticed immediately that L was preggos.  They said that after we were there for a few minutes they conversed (in Japanese) and said, “Are they??”  “Obviously!”  “What should we say?”  “I don’t know.  Let them bring it up.”

We’re having fun telling people and getting their reactions.  There are three patterns so far:

1. Ecstatic, from the newly babied.  Like it’s the greatest thing to happen to us.  Really the funnest, warmest response.

2. Calm and welcoming, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary; we’re just the latest initiates into the booming club.

3. Oh yay, wonderful, that’s great.  So what are you doing this weekend?  From the non-babied.

With J&K it wasn’t a surprise when we told them; K said she noticed as we walked in the door.  So it was more of a “2″ response.  They she jokingly said, “It would be great if it was twins.”  I said, “oh it is twins.”  She said, “it is?”  Me: Yup.  She turned to L: It is?  L: Yup.  To me again: Twins?  Me: Yup, twins.

Then we got response #1. 

This week we’ve had the luxury of being able to focus on other things this past week.  L’s been feeling so much better, and we have been getting used to the idea of expecting babies.  Finishing off the first trimester and knowing that the odds of success are, at this point, “overwhelmingly in our favor” (to quote one of our books) has put as more at ease.  It hasn’t been the only thing we think or talk about.

However in 2 days we have the nuchal translucency screening, and a separate ultrasound, too, so it’s back on the front burner.

I’m still stoked; looking forward to hanging out with friends, having a beer and watching all our screaming kids play together.

We’ve pretty much decided that amnio will be the way to go.  We’re going to expect the best and minimize the risks of something bad happening.  We’ll also request the most experienced doctor to do the procedure in a month or so.